Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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