Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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