Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
