Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
