She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
