I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We are all done wearing pants today
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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