wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
