but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
