I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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