I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
