Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
