ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
