Need sex. Gaining weight.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
