She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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