I didn't shave. On purpose
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
