I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
