I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
