you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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