ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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