she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
