Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
