That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
