I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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