A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
