will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he quoted the bible to break up with me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
