found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
