the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
