There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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