I'm drive I can fine osifer
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
