I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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