We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think my moral compass just broke
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
