Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize
