My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
