My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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