So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
