I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
