Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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