Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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