were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
