I'm really into asian looking animals
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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