He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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