Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
