Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So vagazzling was a success
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
