This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
