We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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