i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
