If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He did a backflip because drugs
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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