From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
