Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
