Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
